Joe Miller: The Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy

October 13, 2010

Dear Joe,

We’re sorry. Yes that’s right, we’re sorry. We should have had more class than to ask those terribly irrelevent and personal questions about your work history, financial status and God forbid, your personal behavior as compared to your political rhetoric.

I know how you feel brother, I’ve been there.

In August of 2006 I was a candidate when during an interview Kyle Hopkins of the Anchorage Daily News asked me if I’d ever smoked pot.

Smoked pot??!! What kind of disprespectful question was that? I wasn’t running on an anti-pot platform.

And what exactly does smoking pot have to do the state’s ten billion PERS/TERS unfunded liability I thought. Little did Hopkins know but I was stoned when he asked me the question, so my righteous indignation was more than just a tad bit hypocritical.

But you…you Joe Miller…you have been treated unfairly my friend by the lamestream media.

First, you have run a campaign based on your career as a lawyer who has mastered the law, a Bronze Star winning soldier and a magistrate who upheld the constitution.

You have run on squeezing the belts of Alaskans and eliminating Federal programs and you’ve wonder aloud about a sovereign debt crisis.

In turn, pesky press people called Sean Cockerham, Rod Boyce, Rhonda McBride and all the others with their notepads and laptops and voice recorders that record everything you say…even when you don’t want them to…are beginning to ask questions.

For instance, you mastered the law it says in your campaign ads. So why should the press question you for not understanding the law when you hired your wife which was against nepotism statutes at the time?

Why should the press ask if you were texting, which is another violation of law, when you were in that car accident after the primary?

Your were fired from you job at the Fairbanks North Star Borough but yet the nosey Nellies in the press corp want to know why? Even if you were politicking on state resources, it’s none of Jill Burke’s business.

Your a Bronze Star medalist so what right does the press have to ask to see you military discharge records or ask why you were let out of your commitment early? They should just listen to what you say and accept it as gospel.

I say screw em’. Stay silent. The vow of silence you have taken is admirable…dare I say….commando? I know the Anchorage Daily News even wrote an editorial about how ridiculous you are being about not answering valid questions.

What you need are distractions of your own.

First, start using your father in all of your radio ads. Alaskans love nothing better than to have an out of state stranger tell them how to vote.

Second, start using populism like “I’ll work to Lower cost energy”, in the text. Even though their will be no such thing as lower cost energy without government subsidy, people will believe.

Third, get a buddy like Kevin Clarkson to write a consistent string of columns about that Penny-Murkowski land dealed that was hashed out on the front page and settled over three years ago.

Fourth, start taking about your credit card debt. Studies have shown that Alaska has the highest amount of credit card debt in the country and people will feel sorry for you and it fits in with the whole sovereign debt crisis.

Fifth, hold on and hope and pray the Tea Party comes through will some serious cash.

Stay silent brother and down with the press.